The Bible and me

My best friend and religious nut, the guy who got me started on this journey no less, is getting married this weekend. I have the honour of being his best man. The other day he pinged me on MSN and asked if I would be happy to do a bible reading on his big day.

I couldn’t answer straight away.

A flurry of questions raced through my head like a blizzard – would I be a hypocrite? Would other people see me as a hypocrit? Would I be able to keep a straight face? Would this undermine everything I’ve been researching? Would my friend think I was an ass if I said no?

I said yes. You see, the words I read mean little to me, they will be nice words I suspect (they’ve not been chosen yet) and will convey all the neccessary sentiment for the event. I’ll enjoy reading them as I’m a sucker for public speaking and the wedding is during a normal Sunday service, so I’ll have an entire church as a captive audience! My friend asked, I suspect, because they were given the option of having a reading and being as I’m the best man, perhaps I was the first choice? Maybe this is the first footfall on the road toward salvation? Either way, I’m pleased to do it for my closest friend.

The temptation to toss the bible over my shoulder, lean over the pulpit and point my finger at the congreation as I begin a soliloquiy with “Now, listen up while I tell you the truth…” is almost utterly overwhelming!

I asked my friend if he had a NKJ (New King James) bible I could read. He said yes. What he actually meant was no, but I’ll get you one. So, I was presented with a gift boxed NKJ bible (complete with gold edging no less) and two books – “Through the British Museum with the bible” and another (the name of which I forget at the moment).

The bible itself is pretty sweet. It’s got a center column on each page with references to passages, phrases or words on the same page which are either themselves references to other parts of the bible, or simply notes on the translation (sometimes even suggesting that the word used might not be the correct translation).

I intend to read this book cover-to-cover. Although the Old Testemant is pretty hard going at times. There’s lots of stuff I really can’t get to grips with and I’ve made plenty of notes and my own version of heiroglyphics to remind me of the craziness of the people depicted therein.

Stay tuned for guffaws ancient style.